A strong lady who taught me to be strong

It was third semester of my engineering. The very first day. I met this lady. My lecturer. I always thought she hated me. Most of the times I was targetted in class. There was a day where I had even thought she hates women, because she used to target me, even when there are 70+ weird guys.

I have always had a love hate relationship with this lady. But there was something in her which used to inspire me to be like her. May be her "I don't care attitude", or may be her "I'm the best, I know it all attitude". I just loved that about her. She was one of the very strong women I have ever met.  I have learnt to be strong from her. Now whenever someone come up to me and appreciate my strong attitude, I know it, it came from her. Her wise advices were the best. She was lucky mascot for  most of the students. She had a very rare combination of beauty with brains. I aspired to be live like her. She was my inspiration.

I had told this to her many times. Even when I met her alive the last time. It was 11th Feb 2012. She left us all forever yesterday. I'll miss you ma'm. You are going to stay in my heart forever. May your soul Rest in peace.

It's my world.

What do women need? Equality?

Blogging after really long time but on a really serious issue. To clarify, I'm not a feminist nor women rights activist.


A lot of us interested in issues of gender and feminism know that in theory, there are various schools of thought on feminism. First wave, new age, radical, classic….you name it, we have it! However, for those looking from a distance, the word “feminism” automatically refers to “demand for equality”.


A few day ago, over a conversation with a friend, the issue of women leaving the workforce to have children came up. He was cribbing about women asking for equality on all quarters and then also demanding flexibility as being unfair. The gist of his argument being, on one hand women want to be equal to men, and on the other hand, still use the “woman” card as per convenience.

The use of words like “equality” and “unfair” in the same sentence immediately led me to think about feminism and among the varied schools of thought, the use of language, and what is it that women are asking for? What do we mean when we say we want equality?

I cannot help but think that a lot of feminist arguments are either misguided, claiming to desire equality for women in situations where we would actually prefer equity, or misunderstood as demanding equality when we are, in fact, demanding equity.

I’ll take an example of the average dinner table. Parents and children, getting exactly the same amount of food would denote equality. But is that what happens? In practical terms, they should and will get portions according to their needs, age and appetite. This is where equity comes in. Equality denotes that everyone is at the same level, gets exactly the same share while equity represents fairness or what is referred to as equality of outcomes. Equality is mostly about quantity, whereas equity is always about quality.

So logically, we aren’t asking to be treated exactly like men, right? And why would we want to be treated as men in the first place? We are not men. Ignoring that would be ignoring plain facts and well, biology. Demanding recognition as mothers or homemakers, for instance, comes with a fundamental expectation of not being treated exactly the same way as a man would. However, we demand equity in how the world treats us, asking to be given the same rights as men have as human beings. And let me hasten to add, asking to look at our needs as women should not automatically mean being treated as less serious or less important.

And so I ask you to think about it. Especially in the Indian context, the way our society is structured and functions, what really are we, as women demanding? We are taking on more and more responsibility with passing years, and asking for respect for doing multiple jobs and doing them well. We are asking for what is fair and what is justified. It is equity that is desirable, not sameness.

Sukrutha
It's my world.

You may call it ego, I call it respect..

Is it important to maintain relationship even though you aren’t respected..? Here relationship can be a friendship, or love, or even parents and sibs. I have seen few of them who go to any extent to maintain a relationship and there are people like me who cut off with anything if I feel I’m not respected enough. My mum feels I’m being silly. She is divine soul on this earth, who treats people very well no matter what they do to her. Same case with my dad & sis. I'm the only eccentric person in my house who give a damn to anything or anyone. I know I love myself a lot more than anyone else on this earth. Past 10 days I have cut off with 3 of my very good friends ( I don't really need to call them that way even though it was friendship of years together). Out of which one was my best friend whom I have met only once in my whole life, but have shared my thoughts which no one else can know on this earth. Shit happens. It was bad clash of ego. Lol :D But I don’t regret about it. Other one just took me for granted which again I couldn’t bear to be treated that way. No matter what they are to me, I can’t let anyone disrespect me. And third one was stupid fellow without common sense, sweet cum irritating. As a Capricorn girl I’m iced and I don’t want to change it. When I have my fans for what I’m and the way I’m, when I have seen young girls and boys who aspire to be like me, why should I change myself? I may be wrong or right but I want to keep it this way..

 Sukrutha
It's my world.

MISSION AUGUST ENDED

It's quite tough to get rid of things, especially when you are used to it (just like corruption). I'm glad. You know what, I got rid of few things which I always wanted to do. It's just like emptying your closet, throwing away everything which is useless and not important. I threw away all those stuffs which were just rotting over there. It wasn't easy. In the process even few good ones with pungent smell has been thrown out and I know that ( I don't have time to wash it or cleanse it, you see). It is not my first time. I have done this every time at the beginning of the new chapter. It is just my part.


It's my world
Sukrutha

I wont carry my license, i dont want the traffic cop to book me. Its okay if I have to pay him, but I hate corruption in India.

Note : Found this interesting piece on one of my friend's facebook wall.. I have just copied it..

People are loading too much of trust on Mr. Hazare. All of them will soon have their trusts shattered when they'd realize they have been getting all emotional over nothing. A clear case of political opportunism, backed by the right wing. The gullible public is playing a part in it because they are taking Anna Hazare's word for it. One needs to think where they get funds to travel in chartered flights and arrange sound systems and displays. Definitely not from the Gandhian Anna Hazare's pocket, nor from the public who hate corruption but leave no chance to use it to further their interests.
Accept it, we, the people of India love corruption. We just hate other people who get bigger gains than us, through corruption. What’s happening in the country is nothing short of a blame game. It is as if everyone in this country is clean except the politicians and that too those of just the ruling party.
Yes, the present government is one of the most corrupt so far, but that doesnt mean you need to play into the hands of the opposition which is not far behind. Can the BJP say which of heir politicians or their allied politicians are honest? At least this government has the guts to put behind bars their own ministers. I can’t think of one incident where a BJP minister was sacked, leave alone jailed. Bangaru Lakshman who was the only guy cornered, after all the brouhaha by Tehelka is now a free man.
I see people getting all worked up and posting status messages about 'toppling corruption' and the 'fight against corruption' as if it is something that is external to them. Guys stop paying bribes and stop receiving favours and that will mitigate corruption. Passing a Lok pal bill is not going to do anything. The change has to come from within. Holding a candle and the national flag doesn’t make you honest or clean. You can do a lot more by actually not being corrupt.
Paying money or receiving money as bribe is not the only form of corruption. Voting a politician expecting him to benefit you and 'your people' is a worse form of corruption. You elect people on those lines, and you will get a corrupt neta. YOU are to blame for this. YOU do this and then blame 'the politicians' for the corruption in the country. YOU are the ones who put them there and gave them the power.
The Lok Pal bill was a step in the right direction, but now it seems to be just an instrument to embarrass the government. The self-appointed civil society needs to understand that they can’t make a perfect bill at a go. Moreover there is no guarantee that this government or the governments that might come later wouldn’t punch holes in it in the future.
Laws and punishments don’t stop people from committing crimes. They only help to an extent. You need to change the people to ensure that. Having an Election Commission which can act independent of the government and has done a good job so far, can only put people trying to buy votes. But if our elections are anything to go by, the ECI has only made a small dent in the vote-buying. The reason for this are not just the vote buyers, buy more so the vote sellers. Us. No matter how strict the laws are and no matter how powerful the vigilance bodies are, they cannot do much if citizens themselves are to blame. It is impractical to fight and country and put the country behind bars. Politicians are just soft and easy targets. A Raja or a Kalmadi gets noticed only because of the amount of money pilfered seems to be huge. To put it in perspective adding up all the money of major scandals and scams so far in independent India, it would amount to close to 5 lakh crores. India as a country has so far dealt in close to 9 crore crores! The problem hence lies not at the top level, but at the lower level. With us. It’s the common man who is the culprit. Moreover it’s the bribes that they pay for traffic challans, the passport checks and the land documents that cause heartburn to the common man and not the 2G scams and the CWG scams.
Corruption is not the disease, its just a symptom of a deep rooted disease – poverty. Money is such a major issues in the life of the Indian common man. Especially because we are so many and the opportunities so few. We hence resort to illegal methods to make our lives better and easier. We need to create enough opportunities and bring in enough development so that people don’t have to twist laws to make money. Take for example the salaries of our Ministers at the centre. At the end of their 5 year tenure they get what a software engineer would accumulate in the same time. Somewhere around 30 lakhs. By for him to win he HAS to spend a few crores. If he doesn’t pay for votes we don’t vote for him. Even if he is an honest person, to get what he has spent(just break even) on his election campaign, he has to pilfer money. And then they have access to lakhs of crores of rupees. It would be very difficult to not put his hand in the cookie jar.
And it’s a similar case with any other citizen in our country. The traffic constable whom we all hate and is regarded the personification of corruption gets paid Rs. 5600 per month if he works honestly. Then, you expect him to stand in the searing sun, stifling pollution and vehicular noise all through the day. He has to wear clean and ironed clothes too. And the competition for those posts is anyone’s guess. If he is a dishonest constable he can earn a few lakhs per year if he is ‘good’ at it. If you were one such policeman, what would you do? Aren't we asking too much from him and paying too little?
We expect government schools to run at almost no cost, but want top-class education in them. We want our railways to give us clean toilets, punctual drivers, tasty food and friendly Ticket Collector, all at such cheap prices. And no, we wont pay more. We want the traffic constable to overlook some ‘small-small mistakes’ when he comes for a routine check before issuing a passport and we want it quick. We ride without helmets, licenses and Registration papers, but shouldn’t be booked for such petty offences. Aren’t we being a bit too impractical?
Impracticality. Yes, that’s the word. That’s the word that would describe the laws we have and the laws that lead people to corruption. That’s the word that would describe the ‘fight against corruption’ and the proposed sweeping changes thereby.
I don’t think I will have to wait for long to see the Anna’s people to be disillusioned. The sooner, the better.
Then probably people will start thinking about efficient means of solving the problem of corruption instead of just condemning it and expecting it to vanish.

It's my world.

Bye Bye VTU

 Its done.. Just got last results of my engineering yesterday.. I'm finally an engineer, Mechanical Engineer.
Its true : What goes around comes around too.. I ended up with the place where I started.. Only difference is confidence which I have developed in past 4 years. I know myself pretty well.. I'm really happy for my classmates who have this amazing results ( 99% FCDs). Some good records are made finally. Bye VTU.. Good bye for now.. Miss you GAT..


It's my world.

I'm a brash

I hate it when few people keep quiet or, when forced to talk, is diplomatic to the point of avoiding the issue altogether. Yup I’m in one such situation of my life.. Thank you.. That is all I can say. How can anyone think that this silent mystique strategy can help you out all the time? But I’m a brash. I can’t be sphinx. You can’t win over me on that.

When I don’t problem with my tweets or face book status updates or my blogs, why are others bothered?

Whenever people make a mistake, instead of realising their own they just bluntly point it out at others. One can escape from it for time being. But in long run one has to realise. Truth is bitter.

Silence is no longer equated with dignity, poise or high stature. Be a straight shooter, come to the point, be honest about what you can and cannot do and don't be afraid to have opinions.

It's my world.
Sukrutha